More Than Voluntary
by Special Agent Tee-vah
Summary: They're in Berlin. Together. Alone. It's just like Paris all over again.


They're in Berlin.

Together. Alone.

It's just like Paris all over again. Except this time, the sharing of a bed is more than voluntary.

In some ways, he feels like it's an obligation. As her partner (in more than one way, he'd like to think), he fees like he needs to do this.

Even if he didn't though, he wouldn't mind. Nope, not at all.

_"So we're getting adjoining rooms, is that correct?" her voice is formal, polite and stiff. It's not the Ziva he knows. It's the Ziva that's trying to remain professional, even though she knows that she can't keep this up for very much longer._

_"Yeah, I guess," it's a statement, but it sounds so much like a question. She shoots him a quick, curious glance._

_Is that...disappointment she hears in his voice?_

_"Alright, it is settled then." She gets him to book the rooms; she has to rush off for an appointment._

He may not have seen it then, she thinks. The reason why she asked for adjoining rooms, and not just separate rooms.

She may not appear it, but she's scared. She's lost her family, and now all she has is her second family and...whatever Tony is to her.

But, he isn't nearly as oblivious as she thinks.

-Linebreak-

They're in Berlin, and they're checking in.

"So it's a single room with a king-sized bed correct, Mr DiNozzo?" he just nods slightly, turning his head to the left ever so slightly - his failed attempt at avoiding the confused and slightly murderous glare of the tiny munchkin next to him. He grabs his key, mutters a quick word of thanks and walks off quickly, trying to run away from his partner, yet trying not to appear like he was frightened of the woman whom he was a head taller than.

"A single room with a king-sized bed?" she repeats, staring at him. He looks at her, and simply smiles.

"That's right, sweetcheeks." With that, he continues walking, as if he didn't realize himself that this was the first time in ages that he called her 'sweetcheeks'. He just walks, ignoring the fact that he left her standing there, completely and utterly baffled.

-Linebreak-

He doesn't understand why she seems to think he can't see straight through her, to be honest. They've been partners for _eight_ years; you'd learn a lot about someone in that span of time. It didn't help that she could be _painfully easy_ to read sometimes, or maybe it was just him.

All he knew was that she wouldn't want to be alone on this trip. She was a stubbornly independent woman whose pride sometimes got in the way. It was her pride that prevented her from asking him if they could share a room. She was scared that he would say no, God knows where she got that idea from. Now, she was also terrified of getting attached (since she _obviously_ was not at all attached to the team, right?). Understandably, of course. Losing so much did that to a person.

They walk into their room and they can't deny it, it's amazing. He flops down on their bed (oh, how he _loves_ how that sounds) and smiles contently. In this moment, he has everything he could ever want with him.

She hesitantly walks up to the other side of the bed and lies on top, resting on her left arm, facing him. She looks so unsure, so uncomfortable, so he pats the bed and grins.

"Aw c'mon, Zee-vah. I won't bite, I thought you'd know that by now." He jokes with her, faking hurt, and is beyond relieved when he sees she cracks a smile, and loosens up.

He's staring at her, and he doesn't see this tough, indestructible woman that doesn't let anything faze her.

He sees a woman who's terrified of the future, who's terrified of having nothing left.

She nestles into the bed, curling up on her left side. He turns to his right just at that moment, and he feels something he's felt so many times before, but this time, it takes him by surprise.

He's completely stunned by this urge he suddenly has, to lean in and kiss her. His eyes dart down to her lips for the shortest moment, before they look back up at her eyes. Yet, somehow, she knows. She's looking at him, in the exact way that he's looking at her.

It's as if they're both in a trance. They both lean in, and they're _oh so near_ to each other, when she suddenly jerks back, as if someone just slapped her. He can see his hurt and confusion reflected in her eyes. She looks regretful, and that's probably what's hurting him the most.

-Linebreak-

She's staring at him now, and she's shocked, not to mention angry. Not angry at him though, _God no_, she's angry at herself. She couldn't let this happen. She _shouldn't_ have let that happen. She was doing it for him.

Yet, why did it seem like she had just made the wrong move?

She turns to lie on her back. Now there's tension between them, and it isn't really the good kind. Not the normal kind.

"Tony, I-"

"It's fine," his voice is clipped, and (is she imagining it?) there's an underlying tone of anger. "I shouldn't have done that."

She sighs, pushing away the growing disappointment, and turns over, willing herself to sleep.

-Linebreak-

He knows she isn't asleep, despite her attempts to seem like it. So he'll wait until she does. He's just lying there, thinking.

_What just happened?_

If the look in her eyes was any indication, then she wanted it too. Yet her actions said otherwise.

They say actions speak louder than words, right?

Thing is, he learned quickly: that doesn't apply to her. It never applied to them.

He breathes in and out slowly, hoping she'll buy that he's asleep. Her body relaxes, and soon she's fast asleep.

He climbs out of bed, and steps out into the balcony.

He needs time to think.

-Linebreak-

It's morning, and she wakes up to the sun glaring in her eyes. The shower is running in the background and when she looks at the clock, it's eleven in the nine in the morning. Her eyes widen, and the bathroom door opens at that moment. He steps out and looks at her, and he smiles at her. She just stares at him completely blank.

"Hey, wanna go get breakfast?"

She just stares.

How is he so...normal? After everything...?

"Yeah, sure." her voice is laced with uncertainty, and it makes him smile.

She doesn't really trust that smile right now.

She gets ready, and he's waiting for her at the door. She's opening the door when he grabs her arm.

"Ziva." she turns around and he's _right there_.

He leans in and she feels a featherlight touch on her lips.

He's grinning like an idiot.

"I'm not letting you go this time."


End file.
